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[These are actual excuses workers gave for missing work.]
  • I was sprayed by a skunk.
  • I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.
  • My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.
  • I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.
  • I forgot to come back to work after lunch.
  • I couldn't find my shoes.
  • I hurt myself bowling.
  • I was spit on by a venomous snake.
  • I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.
  • A hit man was looking for me.
  • My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.
  • I eloped.
  • My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.
  • My cat unplugged my alarm clock.
  • I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.
  • I forgot what day of the week it was.
  • Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.