[These are actual notes taken from patient charts.]

"The patient complains of a dry cough that hurts when he coughs and also when he takes deep breaths for 4 days."
"While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated, and sent home."
"Patient had waffles for breakfast, and anorexia for lunch."
"The patient states there is a burning pain in his penis which goes to his feet."
"Patient was alert and unresponsive."
"Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year."
"The patient has no past history of suicides."
"The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints."
"Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
"The other foot has the missing toe."