[Courtesy of netscape.com]

Looking for third-degree-burned beauties to satisfy my growing fetish for wrinkled skin. Have tried elderly women and bathtub babes, but now only skin grafts get me going.

I've got issues; you've got the cure. I need lots of time on the couch; you need a sympathetic ear and board certification. Must not charge by the hour.

Petite mountaineeress seeks tall female for climbing. If you're under 6 feet tall, averse to ropes, or wary of long expeditions, don't apply.

Single female who enjoys interpretive dance, wearing black clothing, and drinking herbal tea seeks standoffish, analytical wimp to create Jell-O sculptures and ballroom dance in my living room.

Thirty-five-year-old doctor who wants to finally meet a woman with true inner beauty. Outward appearance not a factor. Please send X-rays.

You have brown hair and green eyes, with a mole on your left cheek. I watch you from behind the bushes with my binoculars.
Don't bother to respond; I already know where you live.

Former scientist in search of test subject for study on the line between pleasure and pain, ecstasy and excruciation. Those with high pain thresholds ineligible.

Born-again female Pentecostal seeks male acolyte for meaningful relationship and serpent handling. Speaking in tongues a plus! God-fearing applicants only.