In a Belgrade elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

A doctor's office in Rome: Specialist in women and other diseases.

On a menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beer soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

A Finnish hotel's instructions in case of fire: If you are unable to leave your room, expose yourself in the window.

Ad for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride your own ass?

In a Czech tourist agency: Take one of our horse driven tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.

A temple in Bangkok: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed like a man.

Car rental brochure in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.