CLEARWATER, Florida - A woman who swallowed a 1.5 carat diamond ring had no choice but to give up the evidence when nature called, Florida police reported. A Clearwater Police Department spokesman said that 38-year-old Mary Flowers was arrested last week after she was caught on surveillance tape swallowing the $20,000 ring at a jewelry store in a mall. She denied digesting the ring until an X-ray revealed that it was inside her. She was held in a jail cell under observation until she passed the ring through her digestive system on Monday. Flowers was charged with grand theft and bail was set at $5,000. Police are keeping the ring until the case is over.

HARRISON, Ark. - After a farmer's arm was ripped off in a tractor accident, he picked up the limb, climbed back on the tractor and went home to get help. "What was I supposed to do? Lie there and die?" James Arlen Mondy's wife quoted him as saying. Doctors tried but were unable to reattach his arm after the Dec. 16 accident. Mondy was knocked off his tractor when it hit a hole and the spinning blades of a brush cutter chopped off his arm at the shoulder. As he made his way home, he stopped to open a gate, drove through, and then dismounted the tractor again to close the gate. He continued on his way and began to feel lightheaded. Luckily, a passing couple saw him and were able to summon help.

BOSTON - A man in Boston has taken on some ballsy acting roles - ones where his testicles do the work. The man, who refers to himself as "Sackie Gleason," has a website called testicletheater.com, where he dresses his testicles up in costumes and has them act out scenes from "Macbeth, Enter The Dragon" and "Thelma and Louise." Gleason agrees it's a little nutty but believes his "multi-talented testicles" bring the works of Stanley Kubrick, John Cassvettes and Sam Peckinpah to a new audience. Gleason doesn't want to keep his testicles confined to a film set. He enjoys the live stage and admits his testes thrive during "live theatrical interpretations on request."

In 1757, a Prussian army had to abandon a safe escape route when they saw the road blocked by what they believed to be batteries of Austrian artillery. It turned out to be nothing more deadly than a herd of cattle.

In 1836, when Mexican troops were engaged in skirmishes with the Texans, Mexican General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna ordered his troops one afternoon to take a siesta. During the nap, the entire Mexican army was routed by the Texans in just 18 minutes.

At the Battle of Karansebes in 1788, 10,000 Austrian soldiers were killed or injured by their own side when drunken comrades began shouting that the Turks were upon them. In the darkness and confusion, the Austrians started firing indiscrimately at each other.

When relations with Bolivia soured in 1865, Queen Victoria ordered the Royal Navy to send six gunboats to Bolivia and sink its fleet. Her admirals quietly pointed out that Bolivia had no coast and therefore no fleet, whereupon the Queen sent for a map and a pair of scissors and cut Bolivia from the world.

Famous American General Thomas 'Stonewall' Jackson was devoutly religious and considered fighting on a Sunday to be a sin. In 1862, at the height of the Battle of Mechanicsville in the American Civil War, he stood alone praying on a nearby hill, steadfastly refusing to speak to anyone all afternoon. With nobody to guide them, his Confederate troops suffered huge losses.

BERLIN, Germany - Since Germany has only a small amount of its own natural reserves, a power plant chief has been searching for an alternate source of energy and believes he has found it - used diapers. "It's an environmentally friendly source of energy," said Thomas Lesche, director of a Bremen incinerator plant that made a deal with a nearby retirement home to purchase 100 tons of used pads and soiled tissues, which is an average of about 10,000 pads. "The pollution emissions with used pads are far lower than with oil or coal," added Lesche. "The content of nappies provide
a great source of energy. The demand for used incontinence materials will grow in the future." He also mentioned that the materials make up around one percent of the plant's energy output now, but felt confident that the percentage would increase.

MOUNT DESERT ISLAND, Maine - As a joke, fishermen Jim Bright and Chris Costello dressed a female lobster in a Barbie outfit, complete with pink high heels. Their little prank has saved the crustacean from the steam pot at least 10 times.
Barbie Lobster, as she has been nicknamed, has been hauled up and thrown back on several occasions. The radios used by lobstermen buzz with laughter and chatter every time a new sighting of Barbie is reported. Costello made a special trip to Wal-Mart to purchase the blue blouse, red- and whitecheckered shirt and shoes that Barbie Lobster wears. Barbie hasn't been spotted since early December and apparently was unkempt and almost naked, except for the heels. If she makes it a few more months, she will be home free for another season. "We have our spring fashions all ready to go," Costello said.

LAGUNA BEACH, Calif. - Two California entrepreneurs have created a new type of greeting card that is sure to make the folks at Hallmark blush - cards with the inside message printed on a sexy black thong. Kim Leone and Ann Mohler's creation is called Polka Dot Greetingwear and features racy holiday greetings that include a card reading "Peace on Earth" on the outside and "Goodwill Toward Men" on the underwear. There's also one that says "Round yon" on the outside and "virgin" on the inside. Mohler says the idea for the panty cards came from a brainstorming session where she and Leone and a few friends came up with the goofiest sayings they would like to see printed on underwear. The panty greetings aren't just limited to Christmas - you can pick one up for bachelorette parties, birthdays and even a divorce card that says "Yay you're getting divorced" and contains a pair of underwear that reads "open season."

CHARLOTTE, Vt. - Vermont may no longer be part of the United tates if a small group of citizens has its way. The Second Vermont Republic is attempting to get the state's 600,000 residents to agree to secession to avoid what leader Thomas Naylor calls "imperial overstretch" and "corporate homogenization." Naylor says that the state is a rural area that has nothing in common with large cities such as Chicago or Los Angeles. He believes that separating from the Union is the only way to be sure the "Green Mountain State" stays green.
Naylor hopes the secession will be non-violent and insists that his goal is just to free Vermont from the other 49 states. The Second Vermont Republic only has a few hundred members at the moment but Naylor is sure that his plan will be successful. He is also hoping to convince New Hampshire, Maine and Quebec to join them in forming a new country.

Do these steps go up or down?

What do you do with the beautiful ice carvings after they melt?

Which elevator do I take to get to the front of the ship?

Does the crew sleep on the ship?

Is this island completely surrounded by water?

Does the ship make its own electricity?

Is it salt water in the toilets?

What elevation are we at?

There's a photographer on board who takes photos and displays them the next day... the question asked...If the pictures aren't marked, how will I know which ones are mine?

What time is the Midnight Buffet being served?

CLARKSTOWN, New York - If you are going to impersonate a
police officer, it might not be a good idea to pull over an off-duty state trooper. Shalom Gelbman, 22, was charged with reckless endangerment and criminal impersonation after he stopped a state trooper during his pretend cop act. With a strobe light on his dashboard and his high beams flashing, Gelbman pulled over a car on the Palisades Interstate Parkway. Driving the vehicle was state Trooper Seamus Lyons, who arrested him after noticing Gelbman's license plate number and the equipment in his car. Gelbman was also given a ticket for driving without registration or insurance. He
was later released on $5,000 bail after being arraigned in Clarkstown Justice Court.