Jeder macht eine Reopeningparty.
Zu jeder Gelegenheit.
Gardenreopening im Volksgarten, immer wenn die Temperatur am Freitag 20° übersteigt.
Also werde ich auch jedes mal eine Reopeningparty veranstallten, wenn ich ...
die Haustür aufmache
ein Fenster öffne
die Hose auf mache.
Gibts noch mehr Gelegenheiten?

Schreibt mir gerade meine Frau.
In der Mikrowelle.
Pudding glaubt er ist Vulkan.
Pudding explodiert.
Tropft jetzt von der Mikrowellenherddecke.
Hab mir dabei die Finger verbrannt,
weiß net ob ich lachen oder weinen soll

Brauch Mitleid-
nicht Pudding,
brauner Scheißer!!!!!

Um halb 3 in der früh hat meine tochter festgestellt, sie hat jetzt genug geschlafen und will jetzt spielen. Und hat begonnen mit händen und füßen auf die matraze und ihren polster zu klopfen. Nach einer stunde intensiver einschläferung (sie hat auf mir gebüselt und ich nicht mehr) ist sie dann wieder eingeschlafen. So gegen 4.
Der buslinie mit der ich immer fahre dürfte einen neuen fahrer haben, den der hat es nicht geschafft eine kurve mit einem mal zu nehmen, wo andere (auch busfahrer der selben linie) ohne probleme durchkommen. Und es war auch das erste mal das ich einen gelenksbus zurückschieben sehen habe.
Als ich dann im bus sahs hat sich hinter mir ein typ hingestzt der hat wie geräucherte erbswurstsuppe gerochen. WÄH, und das zu meinem erdbeerdrinkjoghurt.
In floridsdorf waren alle schnellbahn züge um mindestens 4 min. verspätet, also runter in die u6 damit man noch die s45 erwischen kann.
Am handelskai sahs sehr gut aus, zug da, türe offen, bis ich ungefär auf 3 meter drann war, tür geht zu und zug fährt ab. Ohne signal, ich glaub ich spinn!
Naja, macht nichts ich hab dann den verspäteten zug aus floridsdorf erwischt und bin dann über landstrasse mit der u4 ins büro gefaheren.
Am letzten stück das ich zu fußgehen muß, habe ich dann gesehen wie eine Gesichtsbremse fast nicht funktioniert hätte.
Eine frau (leider) hat die stopp tafel übersehen /wollen ( ich will ihr nichts unterstellen) und natürlich kam auch ein auto mit vollem speed daher. Das in wien bei den meisten autos die hupe statt dem bremspedal montiert ist, daran hab ich mich schon gewöhnt. Auf jeden fall hat die frau eine grimasse gezogen das sich jedes zart besaitete auto sofort an seinem treibstoff verschluckt hätte und sofort stehen geblieben wäre.
Naja, fast hätte es nicht funktioniert, 5 cm haben nur gefehlt, dann wäre auch ich zur kühlerfigur geworden.

Am 25.03.2005 wurde selfhtml upgedated.
gefunden bei webmaster-homepage

Ich war gerade in unserem Magazin und hab dort ein paar seltsame Bezeichnungen entdeckt.

• Servisbericht
• Finazbericht
• Ordnerdekblatt

Ich weiß ja das wir sparen müssen und deshalb ab und zu nicht so hoch qualifiziertes Personal für solche Dinge einsetzten.
Aber ich wusste nicht das es billiger wird wenn man das Officepacket ohne Rechtschreibüberprüfung nimmt.

Gefunden auf Blogs! Buch Blog interresantes zu blogger tagungen.
Vielleicht sollte ich mir diese Blogger auf der Blogmich05 mal ansehen.
Wer was was das überhaupt für typen sind.
;-)

In 1872, veteran prospectors Philip Arnold and John Slack bought $35,000 worth of diamonds in Europe and scattered them on land in Wyoming. They managed to convince the Bank of San Francisco they had discovered a diamond field and made $700,000.

Starting in 1921, Oscar Merril Hartzell began a scam selling fake shares in the estate of Sir Francis Drake. He contacted as many families as he could find with the surname Drake and was eventually accused of defrauding 270,000 people. The hoax netted him over $2,000,000.

When J. Bam Morrison arrived at Wetumka, Oklahoma in 1950, he claimed to be the advance publicity man for Bohn's United Circus, which, he maintained, was due to hit town in three weeks. He allegedly sold advertising space to local traders... for a circus that didn't exist.

By forging signatures, James Addison Reavis was able to claim he was the legal owner of 17,000 square miles of Arizona. The enterprise raked in $300,000 a year until he was arrested in 1895 and he was sentenced to six years in prison.

Joseph Weill, who inspired the movie "The Sting," rented abandoned banks and convinced businessmen that he had set up a genuine bank. He waited for them to deposit large sums of money before shutting down and moving on to the next town. This, plus some of his other scams, earned him over $6,000,000.

HOUSTON - You don't want to mess with these women. After a security guard at a Houston shopping mall asked Julie Doyle-Madrid to cover herself or move on while breast-feeding her 4-month-old son, she returned a few days later with 50 mothers who chanted "Got milk" while holding their infants to their breasts in the middle of the Galleria mall. The protest then continued on a busy street outside. It all began when Doyle-Madrid left the mall after being admonished for feeding her son Will, but angrily told a friend about it and word spread through e-mails, play groups and parents' meetings, which led to the protest "nurse-in." If people do not want to see women nursing their children, "Don't look," Doyle-Madrid told the Chronicle. "Breast-feeding is a child eating. I'm very comfortable," she said.
I'm really impressd about this pice of civilcourage.

Not all US-Americans are Stupid.

Horneytown, North Carolina

Whynot, North Carolina

Hicksville, Ohio

Knockemstiff, Ohio

Slaughterville, Oklahoma

Idiotville, Oregon

Virginville, Pennsylvania

Sweet Lips, Tennessee

Ding Dong, Texas

Looneyville, Texas

Butts, Virginia

Imalone, Wisconsin

Toad Suck, Texas

Intercourse, Pennsylvania

Unalaska, Alaska

French Lick, Indiana

OVIEDO, Fla. - Talk about timing. Right after a Presbyterian minister uttered the words "And when I go to heaven..." during his sermon, he collapsed and died at the pulpit. The Rev. Jack Arnold, 69, was at the end of his sermon Sunday at
Covenant Presbyterian Church when he suddenly grabbed onto the podium before falling to the floor. Several parishioners with medical backgrounds tried to revive Arnold and paramedics were called, but he appeared to die instantly.
Before Arnold collapsed, he quoted Bible scholar John Wesley who said, "Until my work on this earth is done, I am immortal. But when my work for Christ is done...I go to be with Jesus."

[These are actual excuses workers gave for missing work.]

• I was sprayed by a skunk.
• I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.
• My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.
• I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.
• I forgot to come back to work after lunch.
• I couldn't find my shoes.
• I hurt myself bowling.
• I was spit on by a venomous snake.
• I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.
• A hit man was looking for me.
• My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.
• I eloped.
• My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.
• My cat unplugged my alarm clock.
• I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.
• I forgot what day of the week it was.
• Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.

In 1987, Bob Fosse, the choreographer and film director left $378.79 to each of 66 people to "go out and have dinner on me"; these included Liza Minnelli, Janet Leigh, Elia Kazan, Dustin Hoffman, Melanie Griffith, Neil Simon, Ben Gazzara, Jessica Lange, and Roy Scheider.

In 1974, Philip Grundy, a British dentist, left his dental nurse $271,500 on condition that she didn't wear any makeup or jewelry or go out with men for five years.

In 1955, Juan Potomachi, an Argentinean, left more than $37,500 to the local theater on the condition that they used his skull when performing Hamlet.

In 1765, John Hart left his brother a gun and a bullet "in the hope that he will put the same through his head when the money is spent."

In 1950, George Bernard Shaw left a considerable portion of his estate for the purpose of replacing the standard English alphabet of twenty-six letters with a more efficient alphabet of at least forty letters - it was never achieved.

The British dramatist Richard Brinsley Sheridan told his son that he was cutting him out of his will with just a shilling. His son's reaction was, "I'm sorry to hear that, sir. You don't happen to have the shilling about you now, do you?"

In 1856, Heinrich Heine, the German poet, left everything to his wife on the condition that she remarried "so that there will be at least one man to regret my death."

In 1997, Robert Brett, a Californian who wasn't allowed to smoke at home, left his entire fortune to his wife, provided that she smoked four cigars a day for the rest of her life.

[From "That Book of Perfectly Useless Information"]