The fastest way to a fisherman's heart is through his fly.

There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.

Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young.

Where there’s a will, I’m in the way.

If this sticker is getting smaller, the light is probably green.

A fool and his money are a girl's best friend.

Before giving someone a piece of your mind be sure you have enough to spare!

Blow your nose, your horn works fine.

Condoms are easier to change than diapers!

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there.

Sex is a misdemeanor...the more I miss it, the meaner I get!