[From MAD Magazine]

Occult-Vegetarian-Ambidextrous-Truck-driving Republican juggler wishes to meet woman of similar interests.

Undercover Espionage Agent - 29 - would like to meet nice woman 18-30 for romantic, lasting relationship. Don't bother to write, I already know where you live.

Handsom, but not wealthy gentleman can only afford a 5 line personal add. I'm a smart good-looking nice guy who'd like to meet pretty, sensitive woman. call me at...

Idiots need love too - If you enjoy walking into movies after they've started, throwing out good furniture and locking your friends in closets, we already have three things in common! Let's get together and find out how many other
negative personality traits we share.

Financially Unstable Man - I owe everyone money. If you're not one of my creditors, I'd like to meet you. Send phone, mine was repossessed.

Compulsive Liar - Seeks beautiful woman to share my million dollar chateau on the French Riveria.

Man, Nonsmoking, Nondrinking, Noneating, Nonbreathing. Actually, I'm dead. I need someone to bury me.

Seeks SWF to tell me what SWF means.

Large Woman Seeks Larger Man - So I will look smaller in comparison. Photos a must.

The Toronto Board of Health has proposed that warning
signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers
about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any
alcoholic beverage.

1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you
to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off
and wreaking dead animal that is one hundred yards away.

2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor
in dancing like an idiot.

3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you
to tell the same boring story over and over again until
your friends want to assault you.

4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause
you to thay shings like thish.

5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you
to tell the boss what you really think of him.

6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading
cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.

7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create
the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and
smarter than some really, really big guy named
Psycho Bob.

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other at
the bar. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she
would like to play a fun game. The blonde, drunk and
dozing, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines
and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really
easy and a lot of fun. He explains: 'I ask you a question,
and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and
visa-versa.'

Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, 'Okay, if you
don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know
the answer, I will pay you $50', figuring that since she is
a blonde that he will easily win the match.

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there
will be no end to this torment unless she plays, she agrees
to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question: 'What's the distance
from the earth to the moon?'

The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse,
pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: 'What
goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?'

The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look.

He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his
references. He taps into the digital cell phone via infra-red
wireless connection to his modem port and searches
the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends
E-mail to all his co-workers, friends, clients, and suppliers
that he knows. And then some. All to no avail. After over
an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The
blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back
to sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the
blonde and asks, 'Well, so what IS the answer?'

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse,
hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

ein paar weniger geschmackvolle bilder.

die logos [via linkslut]

Also da muß man schon zweimal hinschauen, bei den meisten zumindest. Es gibt ein paar bilder die sind schlecht gemacht, aber sonst finde ich es eine neue und witzige idee.
Autos

ATM :	Alle Tanzen Mit
	All Terrible Mistakes
CISCO:	Can't Integrate Switches Can't Organize
FTP:	Fuck That Product
ISDN:	Ich Sehe Deine Nummer
	I Smell dollars Now
	Is Sowas Denn Nötig
IP:	Irrelevante Performance
PLC:	Peinliches Leitungs Chaos
SAP:	SanduhrenAnzeigen Programm
SIEMENS:	Sieben Ingeneure Entwickeln Mit Eifer Nichts Sinnvolles
SNMP:	Suche Noch Mehr Personal
TCP/IP:	Trotz Cola Probier Ich Pepsi
VPN:	Vielfach Propagierter Nonsens
WWW:	World Wide Wait